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BLOG – Get Funny Short Stories by Linda Orvis

Funny Stories Series

A  Short Essay From “In The Mousehole”

 

Phenomena are those rare events that drive a mother crazy. Sometimes she keeps them quiet, so the family won’t be embarrassed. I’m not so obliging. If you wonder what exactly falls into the category of phenomena, here is an example:

I reached for the alarm clock, my hand sliding along the smooth oak wood of the nightstand. My eyes popped open when my fingers dipped into a pool of water. Had it rained … inside?

The curtains felt dry to the touch as I pulled them to the side. The window glass was also dry and closed. Sitting up in bed and scanning the room, I found nothing to account for the water.

Three A.M. Might as well go back to sleep. Grabbing a handful of tissues, I sopped up the mess. The mystery could wait until morning. Read Full Article →

Family Traditions

It’s a real conundrum, the January Puzzle. It first baffled me about twenty years ago on a cold night (as cold as California gets, anyway). Surrounded by our children, we huddled near the crackling fire in our family room, putting together a jigsaw puzzle––a thousand piecer. The picture on the box reminded me of summer: a huge wooden bowl filled with every fruit imaginable, sitting on a white windowsill. The sun shone on yellow bananas, making them shimmer like gold. Lacy curtains fluttered in the breeze.

“Why do we put puzzles together in January?” our fifteen-year-old, Josh, asked.

Stunned, I couldn’t answer his simple question. “Do we?”

“Yes, every year.”

I hadn’t thought about the subject before, but I have many times since. Read Full Article →

Chores For Kids Fun

On July 20, 1969, the first man walked on the moon, and I changed the course of my life as a mother.  I’d spent five years cultivating a career in banking. Then our first son, Jayson, was born.  I worked for four months. I learned to bear his crying when I left him with a sitter.  The day he cried to stay with the sitter I quit my job.

We sat in front of the T.V. that hot July afternoon, sharing the moment Neil Armstrong stepped onto the surface of the moon.  There have been many such moments and five more children.  We’ve made sacrifices to keep me home but have found ways to transform those sacrifices into memorable experiences.

Time is the number one asset of a stay-at-home working mother. I find if I use the time I normally spent in the workplace to save money by careful planning–meals, budgeting, etc. I come out ahead monetarily.  With any available time leftover, I work at creating a fun and rewarding life for my family.

I’ve learned our lifestyle doesn’t work if I try to do it all.  We want our children to learn the work ethic and enjoy their labors whenever possible.  I don’t know where the idea of a Job Box came from, but it helped us reach these goals. Read Full Article →

Funny Short Stories

A  Short Story From “In The Mousehole”

 

I received a phone call from the principal of the local school when dog was the rage.

“Would you talk to Jayson about not playing dog during school hours?” he asked politely.

I didn’t have a clue what the obviously stressed man was talking about. “Dog?”

“Yes, Jayson is the dog leader, and I think if he stops they all will. I just can’t stand any more calls.”

“Calls?”

“Yes, from the parents. One woman even yelled at me.”

“Why?” Read Full Article →