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Get The Best Historical Fiction | Funny Stories & Essays

theplacecover

 The Place

“A quietly shocking page-turner that chooses to be poetic instead of preachy. The finale is truly jolting.”  –  Kirkus Reviews

There are five things I know undeniably, and I hang onto them with everything I am. They are:

I am not crazy. My therapist assures me of that.

I don’t see things that aren’t there.

I’m not reincarnated.

I am not an alien, nor have I been abducted by one.

And …

I come from a place that is not here.

Would you worry about your sanity if you frequently visited another world? Elizabeth Owens does. That’s why she consults a therapist after concealing her experiences in what she calls The Place throughout her thirty-four years of life.

Then someone from The Place begins stalking her––tries to murder her.

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roughcutcover Rough Cut

Should anyone feel sorry for my life? Hell no. It toughened me for what was coming: the Great Depression, hunger, riding the rails, living in a CCC camp, stealing, running from the law, World War II and the shame of a 4F classification. When they got desperate and finally let me do my part, I was made a medic and a flamethrower operator in the Army. So first I’d burn the Japanese out of caves, then work like hell to save their charred bodies. Later I was assigned to examine prostitutes for V.D. 

What’s the point of telling my story? There isn’t any, unless it’s to show how a mean life can cause a person to look inside and choose to do something better for his kids.

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lindaorvishopebooks

Hope: Classic Historical Fiction

 

Hope, who has always craved adventure, is abducted from her Cornwall, England home in the early 1850s and taken to Gold Rush San Francisco. She escapes her kidnapper and lives with the California Indians for a year.

She travels the Pacific Northwest with a mountain man, is attacked by a wolverine, and eventually creates a life in Victoria, on Vancouver Island. This story also follows Hope’s friend, Ian, who leaves Cornwall to search for her until he’s convinced she’s burned to death in a fire. He becomes embroiled in the San Francisco underworld, determined to avenge her death.

Life aboard ship, and with the Indians, as well as with Micah, the trapper, transforms Hope into “a woman to reckon with.”

Unknown-1Kindle Readers: Download Hope here.

For a physical bookorder Hope here.

 

 

 

 

lindaorvisinthemouseholecover

In The Mousehole: Non-Fiction Funny Stories

 

I’ve learned many things raising five boys and one girl, but the most important are:

✺ Always lock the door when you go to the bathroom.

✺ Write down what you can. You may need facts to defend yourself when asked to visit their therapists.

✺ Two survival essentials: Humor to keep you from wigging out and creativity to keep you five steps ahead of a four-year-old.

✺ Parents live in the trenches together. We nod and chuckle when we hear how three-year-old Natalie unwrapped, then dumped a Costco-sized box of Tampons into the toilet.

✺ Finally, and most importantly: when you document the truth, you get the last word.

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Hoppy’s Heroes

Coming in December of 2015…

Nine year old Linda Lee cries about anything and everything. Her schoolmates call her a cry baby. Her brother, Boyd, says she’s a boob, and even her father clicks his tongue when his daughter bursts into tears over a torn dress or a cross word from her mother. Then one day her wise third grade teacher introduces Linda Lee to Mariam, a refugee from the war torn Germany of the early fifties. She is asked to teach Mariam English and act as her guide through the strange world of American fads, slang, and bold, carefree ways. Suddenly a skinned knee doesn’t seem so tragic as Linda Lee learns of her new friend’s fears brought on by World War II. Their experiences teach Mariam it is safe to let out her feelings. Mariam, in turn, shows Linda Lee that there are differences between sensitivity, hurt feelings, and fear. Linda Lee learns her tears are simply part of her caring personality, and if it weren’t for the display of Linda’s own vulnerability, Mariam wouldn’t have learned to trust.

This true story of Linda Lee and Mariam includes their adventures in a haunted house; Linda Lee’s struggle to learn to ride her Hopalong Cassidy bicycle and both girls’ determined pact to stand up to the schoolyard bully. Humor plays a big part in Hoppy’s Heroes. Linda Lee’s vivid imagination and Mariam’s confusion with English keeps the story on the light side. 

Hoppy’s Heroes is an award winning book about overcoming fears and how simple friendships can change a life forever. Many Baby Boomers are now grandparents and would  love reading this story to grandchildren. Hoppy’s Heroes is packed with illustrations and pictures set in the fifties. 

 

Arabesque

Coming in the summer of 2016…

An intense yet humorous psychological suspense thriller, takes us into the world of an organization that recruits sociopaths throughout the US and uses them in businesses that infiltrate government, major corporations, and law enforcement.

Who can stop them? The FBI? Homeland Security? Would you believe an interior designer, a Mormon CIA agent, and a guillotine?